Friday, December 9, 2016

Stuck in a Rut or Rolling like a Stone


Do you find yourself stuck in the same old ruts?

It's easy to do, because most of us have just enough energy to keep doing what we are doing but not enough to change anything. Yet we hope and wish for things to change. This pattern matches Albert Einstein's brilliant definition of insanity: "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Why do we do it? I know many people who want their lives to change but cannot make it happen. Why not, especially when it is something they strongly desire

Perhaps it is because change takes energy. And if the majority of your energy is sapped up by or depleted from what you've been doing for some time now, you don't have enough "extra" to make the changes you desperately want. 

So how do you get the energy you need to make the changes you want? The simple answer is to change what you are devoted to.  

Consider this: it takes at least 51% of your energy to make a change. That is because you must have more of your energy - even just one percent more - invested in changing than you do in staying the same. If you have 50% of your energy invested in changing and 50% of it invested in staying the same, guess what happens? Nothing!

You must find a way to invest more than half of your energy into changing to make it happen.

 
There are many ways to do this. A good place to start is to fire up your commitment. Make a commitment to the change you want, but not just any old commitment. I'm talking about a solid gold, nothing can stop me, I want this more than anything, double-dog dare you commitment to it. Feel your commitment to the depth of your bones. Devote yourself to its success. If it is important enough to you, you will. 

If you don't feel it that strongly, you might not want it that badly. Then, I suggest you set that one aside for later, and devote yourself and your energy to making the changes you really want and are ready for now.

Next, pay attention. By this, I mean seeing the story of your life from a higher, more neutral and compassionate perspective. Pay attention to how you spend your time and therefore your energy; your energy flows where your attention goes. Paying attention to your life in this way is called "awareness" or "self-awareness."  

Awareness helps you see where you are spending your energy so you can decide if it still serves you to do so. Uncover what you are feeding with your time and energy. Take stock. Which things in your life inspire and nourish you and which ones tire and deplete you?

Third, begin to shift how you spend your time and energy. This can be a challenging step because it may mean letting go of people, places or things that feel comfortable to you. But just because they feel comfortable to you does not mean they are supportive for you. They might be, yet this is the time to take a radically honest look at them and decide once and for all what to keep feeding and what to stop feeding with your attention and energy.

Sometimes you must let go of something good to make space for something great.


Not all of what you decide is "out" has to stay gone forever, but it may serve you best to let them go temporarily as you move through your changes. Later, you will know if it supports you to bring them back in. But in order to free yourself from the old ruts you've been stuck in, you must devote most of your time and energy (i.e., attention) to the new things you want to have in your life.

Remember, at least 51% of your time and energy must be devoted to making the changes you want in order to have a chance at success. That means 49% or less of your time and energy is going into maintaining the same old things that keep you stuck in a rut.

You must change what you are doing for things to change.



 
Focusing your time and energy on things that support you is not selfish, as many people fear. Quite the contrary; it is self-aware. There is a big difference between selfish and self-aware

Selfish is when you are primarily focused on your personal welfare despite any negative outcomes for anyone or anything else; and you only care about yourself.  

Self-aware, on the other hand, is when you are primarily focused on yourself in relation to all else, knowing that your choices impact other people and things; and you care enough to make the most compassionate choices possible for all concerned. BIG difference. 
  
Forth, once you see clearly what you want to keep in and what you want to let out of your life, and you refocus your time and energy to change them, it takes strong devotion to be successful in the long term. The relationships you feed will thrive in your life. By relationships, I mean to people, places and things. Devoting yourself (i.e., your attention, time and energy) to what truly nourishes and supports you in the long term will move you closer and closer to the life you really want.


Your level of devotion to this journey is what will get you through it with success. For lasting change to happen in your life, you must focus on long-term rather than short-term outcomes. Immediate or short-term gratification does not create lasting change, but long-term vision, intention and devotion does. What do you devote your time and energy to?

For lasting change to happen, you must devote at least 51% of yourself - your attention, time and energy - to the things that sustain it    

Do this and before you know it, you will find yourself feeling lighter, happier and more fulfilled in life...out of your old ruts and rolling like a stone.