Saturday, September 12, 2020

How to deter stress and overwhelm


How to deter stress and overwhelm  
Hello my friend.

However things feel to you in this moment, I'd like to offer some support. Maybe you're feeling okay or maybe you're not. Maybe you're calm or maybe you're stressed. Maybe your life hasn't changed much this year, or maybe it has fallen apart. Whatever is happening in your world, what I share in this blog can change everything...long term.

I'll get to that in a minute, but before I do, I want to share that I'm hearing stories in which all of the scenarios I mentioned above are true. While some people's lives are stable, others are dealing with devastating changes that have turned their world upside down—an unexpected divorce, loss of a job and steady income, death, wild fires, floods, a dreaded diagnosis...The list goes on.  


And yet I'm aware that despite the unusual nature of 2020, such challenges are always a part of life. Life has a way of reminding us that we are not in control...ever. And how ironic to be writing about this today, on one of the most shockingly out of control days in North American history—September 11th.

This reality of not truly having control over the course of our lives can feel overwhelming and frightening, especially since we're conditioned to believe if we work hard enough and make all the necessary sacrifices, we'll eventually get the payoff of not having to worry. And yet no matter how hard we try or how much we do, we may find ourselves back at the foot of the mountain.

So how do we quell the urge to crumble into a heap of anxiety and hopelessness? How do we stop wasting our energy trying to outpace or control life, when it is capable of knocking us down over and over again? This is the million dollar question, right? And we all want the answer


It may sound and feel crazy, but the answer is actually found in giving up our attachment to control—the notion that we can somehow make life go our way if we do just the right things. We can't. We can't control the flow of life through this dynamic reality, no matter how perfectly or diligently we try. There are too many moving parts. The unexpected will happen. There's no way we can anticipate every possibility in every situation all the time.

That doesn't mean our actions make no difference; on the contrary! They make every difference. Every action we take has a ripple that impacts the whole of this reality. Quantum science validates this. We are all interconnected. The seemingly separate bits and pieces of this entire reality form one living entity.

But let's not go down that rabbit hole today. Today I want to invite you to find a new balance inside, one in which you stop trying to control or manipulate life into doing your bidding, and instead, begin to align with its power. Because here's the deal: there's a much larger force than you operating through you. In fact, there's an infinite  source of life expressing itself through you. That's powerful!


So let's get you aligned with that source, because when you do, the power of life can flow through you more easily, easing your sense of struggle. The first step is to unclench your fists from the things you cannot control, and embrace the things you can. For example, you can't control how other people treat you, but you can control how you relate to them, and how you treat yourself.

Now more than ever is a great time to practice self-nourishing. Make time to refill your cup every single day. You can't live your best life from a place of lack, overwhelm, or depletion. You can't be there for others when you feel exhausted. You can't change your circumstances without energy, inspiration, or motivation.

It's not selfish to fill your cup first. It's like they say on an airplane: put on your oxygen mask first; then help others with theirs. So figure out what your "oxygen mask" is, grab it, and put it on every single day, even if it's just for three minutes. Do it, because keeping yourself full enough to have a positive relationship with life is being self-aware, not selfish.


Here are a few of my favorite "oxygen masks" to give you some ideas:
  • nourishing movement such as yoga 
  • inner listening such as meditation
  • singing
  • moving or dancing to favorite music
  • reading an inspiring book
  • watching an inspiring movie
  • a comforting bath
  • a conversation with a dear friend
  • a nature walk or sit
  • a long (or short) hike
  • creative play
  • working puzzles
  • creative writing
  • opening inner flow through journaling
  • creative visualization
I bet you can come up with some of your own. Whatever you do, devote yourself to doing something self-nourishing every single day. Everyone can find three minutes! Now more than ever before, this is essential. So stop "thinking about it" and just do it, because as I like to say...if you change nothing, nothing changes.

Friday, September 4, 2020

What's Holding You Back?

 Hey there, my friends.

Just checking in because I'm hearing from many women that they are There are all the obvious reason why this might be the case—political tensions, racial tensions, financial stressors, health stressors, personal stressors, stressors from massive life-style changes, and so much more...

We women could explain away the tension we feel inside in these ways, yet I'm experiencing it as something much deeper. There's a movement happening within the larger field of existence, a balancing of energies. This movement is essential to our existence and possibly to our survival. Do you catch my drift?

This isn't about "us" and "them." In fact it's quite the opposite. This is about "we" and "our." The larger movement beneath what we're experiencing in the media and agenda-driven surface of our lives is unitive rather than divisive. 

Yet to connect with this larger movement, we must be able to see beyond our conditioned selves and behind the curtain of illusion that we are stuffed with on a daily basis. We must be willing to at least consider that there is more going on here than meets the eye.

If you're paying attention at all, you may have seen and heard a lot about this already. I'm going to add my voice to the stream, because this is important for us to understand. And not only to understand, but to truly feel. And not only to truly feel, but to align with.  
If we don't, if we choose instead to continue to ignore or deny it, to take sides and reinforce the "us" versus "them" mentality, we open the floodgates for even more suffering. Not just for us personally, but for the people, animals, sea creatures, birds, lands, waters, and air we are all connected to...the whole of this thing we call "life."

And for women right now, it is essential that we stop ignoring and denying our inner voices, our intuitive wisdom, and our inherent power as a mighty force in this reality...because it's that voice, that deeper wisdom,  that is called for now.

Just because we have ignored and denied the inner echo of our true voices, our intuitive wisdom, and our powerful purpose does not mean it does not exist. It does! Absolutely and without a doubt, it is a part of us, who we are.

Life circumstances and history cannot, do not, wipe that away. It's an inherent part of our nature as the life-bearers. No amount of denial, rejection, laws, abuse, or toxicity can take that away from us. And that is why today, she rises.

SHE RISES. Do you feel the power in that? I do. And I feel it in every client I'm working with. I feel it in the voices of women everywhere, from every corner of the globe, and every walk of life too. 

SHE RISES. Her voice may be shaky and her body trembling, yet she rises. With soft steps and gentle touches, she rises. With gracious movements and loving arms, she rises. With open eyes and blazing spirit, she rises. With fiery heart and unequivocal words, she rises. And meets the fury of fear with the soul of the mighty warrior she was born to be.

It is time. There is no more room to ignore or deny the call of the feminine spirit, or to abandon the feminine soul. For, life is suffering and can no longer exist without the soul's love. 

I invite you to listen within. Listen truly and deeply to the seemingly empty spaces within your being. Listen to the echos of your heartbeat and feel its pulsing rhythm, the rhythm of life itself. This is you; this is life pulsing through you, God, the supreme being, pulsing through you.

You are no more or less worthy than anyone else, anything else, in this universe of existence to be here, to be empowered, and to be a force of goodness. But this is something you must claim. It will not force itself upon you, because it is you. And it holds no power through you until you proclaim it.

If you've read this far, you are my sister, no matter how you take my words. And I am your sister, standing for goodness beside you. In the words of Brené Brown who said it better than I ever could:

I want everyone to know that I will never stop sharing my opinions and beliefs to make anyone feel better or more comfortable. Not now. Not ever. If that doesn’t work for you, I agree that unfollowing me is a good solution. There comes a time when shared journeys end.

I am here for my purpose.

I’m not here to make people comfortable or to be liked. My purpose is to know and experience love. This means excavating the unsaid. In the world and in me.

Knowing and experiencing love means calling shame, fear, dehumanization, and injustice by their birth name: Lovelessness.

It means finding love in beauty, art, music, and nature.
It means not turning away from pain or working pain out on other people.  

Knowing and experiencing love requires making connections between experiences and emotions that often feel a million miles apart.

And, for me, love always requires living into courage and faith.

I’m here for love. And I’m not changing course. If this is your time to peel off—please do it. But keep these two things in mind:

  1. You don’t need to announce it. You can if you want. But I don’t care any more than I would if we were driving next to each other on the freeway and you decide to exit. We shared a stretch of highway. You don’t need to roll down your window, lean out waist-high, and scream, “I’m UNFOLLOWING you.” It’s weird, and, by the time you do it, I’m already down the road.
  2. Nothing about my purpose has changed.
Let's keep it real, my sisters.

Monday, April 6, 2020

Using a RANT Journal to purge intense emotion

Sometimes your mind gets so much steam or momentum behind it that you can’t stop it. It becomes like a runaway train barreling down the tracks at top speed, full steam ahead with no brakes. Sometimes it packs so much energy, it renders you scattered, unable to focus, distracted and anxious. This can ruin your day and keep you up all night so you wake up and go to bed feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.

Since your thoughts keep your feelings stirred up, this cycle makes for a difficult time. Anger, sadness or shame, for example, can consume you, distract you and drain you. Unanswerable questions about the past or future can frustrate you. Wishing things were different leaves you feeling unhappy and disconnected.

This happens because thoughts and feelings are energy. And when you allow your mind to feed its thought energy into your feelings, they intensify and grow into emotions. Emotional energy is more dense and impacts your nervous system which directly influences how the rest of your organs function—your brain, heart, liver, kidneys, glands, digestion, etc.. 

Remember this: your energy flows where your attention goes. What your mind focuses on is what you feed all your prana or life force energy to. Whatever it is, grows in strength and power in your life.

The energy of your thoughts and feelings carry a specific frequency that can be low or high. When your mind cycles low frequency thoughts, your being cycles low frequency feelings, emotions and desires that lead to low frequency actions. These actions are not aligned with your highest good or your soul's evolution.

As you learn ways to gain mastery over your mind and reclaim your personal power, your mind becomes your employee rather than your boss—a tool you can use to elevate yourself out of the low frequency existence you are stuck in. This means you stop leaking your energy to useless mental-emotional cycles and start evolving to a high frequency life instead. 

From a high frequency, life takes on an entirely different color. You feel more empowered, centered, confident and happy inside. You deal with stressors with a calm certainty rather than with worry or anxiety. You take actions that are aligned with a higher power rather than based in ego drives and fears. And you use your experiences to evolve rather than to crumble or close your heart. The difference is amazing!

Toward this goal, I offer a simple technique to help you move the energy of low frequency thoughts, feelings, emotions and desires out of your body to stop diminishing your vibrancy. From a place of renewed spaciousness you have the power to transform your life for the better.

This technique is using a specific journal called a RANT journal. The technique is super simple but very powerful! Here is how it works:

1. Buy yourself a special journal with pages big enough to scribble on. The pages can be lined or not; it doesn’t matter.

2. You will keep this journal in a private place. It is for your eyes only. But just in case anyone should find it, write a disclaimer on the first page that says something like this: This journal is my RANT journal. It is part of my process to evolve beyond what it contains. And it is intended for my eyes only. I know none of what it contains is true. So do not take anything written in here personally should you happen to read it.

3. Any time your mind cycles in low frequency thoughts, you are to write them into the pages of this journal. Do not edit or screen what you write in any way. Write it as horribly as you think it. Even if you know a thought is not true or you do not agree with it, write it just as you thought it anyway. In this way you are capturing the contents of your runaway thought trains.

4. Do not write in a neat, pretty, legible way; just RANT messily!

5. Do not write anything else in this journal. It is not used for any purpose other  than RANTing. 

6. You can scribble, scratch, draw in this journal but only if it is part of your RANT.

When your RANT journal is full (and this can take days, weeks or even years), your task is to safely and ceremonially burn it. Alternately, you can tear out pages and burn them as you go, but I find being able to review your rants is therapeutic and helps you learn  from the past, grow and evolve spiritually. Fire transmutes the energy. 

Burning your RANT journal alchemically transforms and purifies all it contains, which is essential because you don't want to feed all that heavy energy into the collective consciousness or field of existence we all share. This is part of how we take responsibility for our part of creation, because we do create with our thoughts. They are the seeds of what we ultimately experience in this reality.

Here's how to conduct your burning ceremony:

1. Find a safe place to make a fire outdoors. I have a backyard fire pit but any clear space will do, away from brush and trees. Clear a spot on the ground that is free of grasses. You can use a grill, cast-iron cauldron or pot, or similar object to contain it if you don’t have any fire bricks or stones to form a circle. Or you can dig a hole that’s deep and wide enough to hold your journal.  

2. Hold the journal in your hands and consciously thank it for holding all that pain from your past. Thank the pain and all the contents of the journal for the lessons it brought you, and for helping you heal and evolve. 

3. With gratitude and with clear intent to release all it contains from your life to be transmuted to pure energy by the fire, place the journal into the space where you will burn it. 
4. Depending on the type of notebook or journal, you may need to remove pages and crumple them slightly to fully burn. Or open the journal and crumple some of the pages before lighting it. Light the journal and watch it burn as you keep your intent in your awareness (to release and transmute all it contains with gratitude for helping you heal and evolve). Surrender all it contains to the Supreme Source of Love. Watch the heaviness of it burn to ash, as the smoke carries your gratitude to that Supreme Source. Feel free to stir it or poke it to help it completely burn.

5. Once it is completely burned to ash, you can put dirt over the ashes or simply leave them to disintegrate where they are. Offer your thanks to the fire for its help before walking away.

The final step in this process is to dream into what you want to carry forward. Now that you've cleared out all that heaviness, what do you want to grow in its place? Choose a word or phrase that captures your dream. It might be "love" or "integrity" or "courage." It might be "to honor my truth" or "love myself" or "accept my whole self as I am." Choose a word or phrase that feels good and right for you in this moment. 

There's not a wrong way to do this, so listen to your inner voice — your intuition — and trust it. Write your word or phrase into a new journal as a way to mark your new beginning. Commit to yourself to keep the past in the past and move forward with this new intent. Keep your focus on this new intent every day for at least 40 days as a way of resetting the old default neural pathways and slowly shifting your life experience. This kind of  specific, dedicated action is how you truly change your reality to your highest vision.

Have questions? Email me at Be kind to yourself and one another.

Sunday, March 22, 2020

What everyone needs to know, right now

I'm reaching out to connect today with some inspiring news. 

Like you, my life has been hijacked by this "pandemic." Many people are feeling alone, isolated, bored and uncomfortable. We are not used to spending so much time out of our usual routines.

We also underwent a powerful shift of a different sort, a natural turning of the wheel from winter to spring. On March 19th we had the spring equinox, one of two times a year when night and day are of equal length. This equinox signals the returning of the Sun out of winter's darkness. From the spring equinox forward, the days steadily outpace the nights, growing longer and longer until we reach the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year.

What does this have to do with you? Everything! This shift in life's natural energies signals our own bodies to shift as well. As the Sun's energy builds, so does our own. As cool rains wash the earth, so do we wash our beings of past heaviness. As spring leaps into fresh bloom, so can we.

We are not separate from the natural rhythms of life. We simply choose to attend to them or not. If you've ignored these natural shifts, it doesn't mean they haven't impacted you. It simply means you had no control over how. No one is immune...

One thing about this pandemic and the precautions we must take is it is forcing us out of our comfort zone, our habits, our stress comas - out of all our default patterns. Whenever we step out of our default patterns, we enter an opportunity for true change to take place on a lasting scale. This happens because we suddenly begin to "see" or notice things in ways we hadn't before. It's as if a fog lifts.

This provides us a powerful opportunity to heal on a Soul level and spiritually awaken ourselves. The process of spiritual awakening is like a flower moving from pollen to seed to sprout to bulb to bloom. We do it step by step as we're ready.

If we are paying attention in this very moment, we have a clear opportunity to enter this process; to heal and to awaken some part of us, to spiritually evolve into a more whole, loving, joy-filled being. Between this unprecedented time we have to be home right now, and the movement of energy from darkness to lightness through the Spring Equinox, the container of our life is primed and ready to enter such a journey.

Here are 4 ways to play with this special opportunity:

1. Do things that INSPIRE you. Anything that inspires you also raises your energy. Anything that raises your energy supports you in making desired changes in your life because you can't make them unless you have the energy to do so.

2. Make a list of what you are wholly ready to release from your life - burdens, heavy feelings, unkind people, etc...anything that keeps you from shining your brightest. When your list feels complete, find a safe place to burn your list. Light a small fire, fold the paper and hold it in your hands, feeling your readiness to let it all go. When you are ready, place it into the fire and watch it burn, banishing all it contains from your life.

3. Complete the sentence in your private journal every day: "I am ready to open to (blank)." Or "I am ready to experience the joy of (blank)." You can repeat the same thing every day, or pick new things; up to you.

4. Think of ONE thing that has felt as a burden to you for some time now. Feel into the impact this burden has had on your life. Write the word down on a piece of paper in lowercase letters. Then imagine what life would feel like without it. Come up with ONE word to describe your life without this burden. When you are ready, draw a thick line through the first word you wrote down that feels as a burden. Then draw an arrow on your paper from it to your NEW word that you write down in capital letters, like this:
fear ------> TRUST
Place this paper where you see it every day and use it to cue your mind to shift it's thinking. In time, this can actually shift the default neural-pathways in your brain to new, supportive ones. When you shift your thoughts, you shift your energy.

The Spring Equinox along with this pandemic are providing a special opportunity for change. Will you ignore it and keep struggling with  old burdens, or will you honor yourself by taking some simple yet powerful steps on your behalf? I invite you to become a "proactivist" on your behalf!

Remember: if you change nothing, nothing changes.