What has lust got to do with it?

SEX. LUST. LOVE. HOW DO THEY ALL FIT TOGETHER? 

These famous lyrics by musical group Salt and Pepa highlight a very real conundrum in our intimate relationships:

   Let's talk about sex, Baby

   Let's talk about you and me

   Let's talk about all the good things

   And all the bad things that may be

   Let's talk about sex

[Let's Talk About Sex lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc]

How do we know if sex is love and not just lust? And can lustful sex turn into real love? What do sex, lust and love have to do with relationships? 

In my women's Facebook group, After A Breakup: Going From Heartache To Happy, a member posted that after some playful flirty texting with her ex-boyfriend, he came over and they had sex. He later asked if they could continue to be intimate, which she agreed to because she really wanted to rekindle their love; she wanted him back (her words).

But does the fact that they text-flirted, got horny and had sex mean there is still a chance for monogamous relationship love between them? Or were they just horny, turned on by flirtexting? What's the difference? When does sex mean love and when does it just mean lust? And can lust be love?

And there it is...that blurred line between sex, lust and love. 


THE BLURRED LINES BETWEEN SEX, LUST AND LOVE

The line between these is so blurred, many women spend years in the back and forth of on-again, off-again relationships, endlessly hoping that great sex means there's a chance at great love. Let's be honest—with happy-ending love stories deeply entrenched in our cultural mythology, it's hard not to secretly wish and hope that the strong sensitive hero we read about in books or see on the screen will show up in real life and be our hero, just at the moment when all seems lost. 

But more often than not, we end up desperately trying to get the person we love so deeply to love us the way we love them. Many of us sacrifice everything for them, for love. Then if the relationship ends, we are devastated! We feel confused, lost, lonely, and hurt. We can't believe the person who said they loved us just walked right out of our lives like we were always disposable to them. Many start new relationships right away, leaving us wondering if they ever loved us at all.

I've been there myself a few times and heard so many stories like this in my work with clients that I sometimes wonder—Is long-term, intimate, loving monogamy possible? Or are we just fooling ourselves, brainwashed by the fairytale endings in our culture?

To beg the question, let me share another story from my group. A member posted that her relationship ended because her partner of several years wants to be polyamorous and she does not. She wants monogamy and marriage. The group jumped all over this, calling the guy an ass and guessing he just wanted "his cake and eat it too." They seemed to take his choice as a personal affront and a sign that the guy did not value her or their relationship enough. They encouraged her to let him go.

But could there be another explanation? Is sexual greed the only possible reason for these types of experiences, or might something else be going on?


LOVE IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE

Before we launch into that discussion, let's get a few terms straight:

• Monogamy—choosing to be in loving, intimate relationship exclusively with one person

• Polyamory—choosing to be in loving, intimate relationship with more than one person and all are in agreement

• Open Relationship—a committed couple who chooses to have playful sexual fun on the side with other people

• Swinger—a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners 

What I know for certain is that Human sexuality and relationships are far from black and white. In fact, they are so gray that pretty much anything goes. People break the law to have it the way they want it, as with polygyny (a husband with multiple wives), polyandry (a wife with multiple husbands), and bigamy (having two spouses). These are all illegal in the United States but people do them anyway. And I won't even mention the rest.

In a culture where not only anything goes but where our Human struggles become popular reality TV shows, how do you sort sex from lust from love? Is it even possible? 


WHAT ARE SEX, LUST AND LOVE?

Let's be real. In this context and in the broadest sense of the word, sex is an act. It refers to sexual activity in general, and specifically including intercourse. This can be done with one or more partners, in any location and whether or not there is lust or love present. 

Lust, on the other hand, is a desire and a feeling. For purposes of this article, it means having a very strong sexual desire for someone. Lust can lead to sex and love, but not all sex and love are lust.

And then there's love, the most elusive of the three. Like lust, love is an intense feeling of deep romantic or sexual attraction or affection for someone. Love can lead to lust and sex, but not all lust and sex are love.

Confused yet? So how do you sort sex from lust from love? The sex part is easy because it is an act and not a feeling. But what about lust and love? How do you know if lust is lust, lust is love, love is lust, or love is love? Can you know? 


DO WOMEN AND MEN WANT THE SAME THINGS?

In my experience, most women are looking for love, not sex. And most men are looking for sex, not love. This is a generalization and an oversimplification to be sure, but talk to anyone over the age of 35 and see what they say. Chances are good that the women are hoping great sex means long-term love. And the men are hoping great sex means long-term great sex. 

Perhaps women use sex for love and men use love for sex. And what about lust? Maybe it just helps with the sex and love parts. If that is true, then it might explain why so many relationships ultimately fail: because in the end, women and men hope to pull different things out of the lust box—women want love; men want sex. 

That is not to say that women don't want sex or that men don't want love. But my guess is that if I took a vote, women would choose love over sex in the long run, hands down. I'm not sure I could say the same for men...But maybe.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Women and men are cut from different fabrics based on survival patterns that evolved from the dawning of Humankind. Today these deeply rooted primal patterns have been refined into a culturally appropriate template. I imagine we each hold strong beliefs around what sex, lust and love are, and what love, in particular, should look like.

THE NATURE OF LOVE

The problem is you can't really put a thing like love into a box and expect it to slumber quietly forever. Inevitably, it will burst open because in its purest form, love is a powerful, dynamic and free energy. Inherently, it has no bounds. Trying to make it conform to any particular shape is futile.

This may also be true for sex and lust. Perhaps the real struggle  we face is in our trying to make these dynamic energies static? Perhaps culturally we simply feel safer and more comfortable knowing these powerful energies are contained rather than wild. Wild anything in this culture tends to get a bad rap but particularly when it comes to sex, lust and love. Just look at Hollywood, for example.

WHAT ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS?

Now that we've distilled all of this down, what does it mean in terms of relationships? The bottom line is there is no bottom line. The arena of relationships is a complex, multi-layered  and dynamic beast.  There is no right, wrong, or one way to do them. 

Sex, lust, love and relationships mean different things to different people. And there are a number of things that impact how  a person treats them. Plus, since lust and love are dynamic energies, they change, making it impossible to predict the course of any relationship.

The key is to align with what feels best to you. It doesn't matter what that is; you just have to align with it. And realign with it (or not) as it changes. That's the thing about relationships—they invite us to risk, open, grow and evolve. They are our greatest opportunities to learn about ourselves. Without others to challenge us, we stagnate and have little idea of who we truly are.

So who are we, truly? I believe that at our core, we are pure, unconditional love. Being in relationships challenges us to reconnect with that core or true nature. To do that, we must be willing to give up our ego drives and desires, fears and threats, wounds and stories. We must allow our hearts to heal and open instead of fester and close. Authentic loving is not for the timid!

But it is possible. Reaching a state of unattached, unconditional or authentic loving is what many traditions call bliss or enlightenment. And it is what many of us believe we are here to do—evolve on a spiritual level. Viewing your life experiences through the lens of spiritual evolution is a game-changer. It turns pain into power. 

REACHING FOR AUTHENTIC LOVE

The place to start this journey is with awareness of your truth. As you learn to honor your inner truth, your being becomes clear and light. The more clear and light you become on the inside, the more clear and light your life becomes on the outside. Because your external life is nothing more than a reflection of your internal life.

It works the same way for your relationships. The more clear and light you are on the inside, the more clear and light your relationships become on the outside. What you don't want falls away and what you want rises to the surface, because when you view your life as a spiritual journey, obstacles become opportunities.

There is no point to sacrificing what you want—your truth—out of fear, especially when it comes to love. All that does is muddy up the energy, leaving you with a cloudy, confusing mess to sort out. Don't be fooled; there is no scarcity of love in this Universe! Love has been, is, and always will be waiting for you. All you have to do is open to receive it. 

Turn February 14th into a day of empowerment

If you read my last post, 7 Kinds of "Love" Plus 5 Ways to Love Your Single Self on Valentine's Day, you already have an idea of how I feel about February 14th. So I thought I would take it one step further.

Let me guess: without even reading this blog, you know it is about Valentine's Day because of course everyone knows that February 14th is Valentine's Day; and everyone knows if you don't bring your beloved some flowers or chocolates on that day, you're a schmuck...right? Right. 

But did you also know that on this date, Oregon became the 33rd and Arizona the 48th states of the Union? Or that the first US state bird refuge was authorized in California? Or that Venus was discovered as a morning star and an evening star? Or that James Knox Polk - our 11th President - became the first to have his photo taken? Or that the US Parcel Service as well as the League of Women Voters were formed? Or that Aretha Franklin recorded the single Respect? I bet not. And those are just a few of the many significant events on this historical date.

Tomorrow is the day - V-Day for short - for 2018...the day flower shops and chocolate makers love. It's the day we are supposed to show our beloveds just how much we love them by buying them something special. And if we don't or they don't,  people are left feeling disappointed, unloved, and lonely. It doesn't matter how much love we show or share the rest of the 364 days of the year; it's V-Day that counts the most toward our annual love score, if you keep one.

So I suggest a rewrite for this day...

If the magic of V-Day is little more than a product  of  creative marketing, why not turn it into a day that leaves us all feeling empowered and whole rather than disappointed, unloved, or lonely? 

For instance, we could all reserve our hate for this one day and share our love with each other the rest of the 364 days of the year. Or we could reserve our negative self-talk for this one day and speak sweet nothings to ourselves the rest of the year. Or my personal favorite for 2018: we could use this day to empower ourselves by practicing forgiveness via the Ho'Oponopono Method. 

If you've never heard of Ho'Oponopono, it comes to us from Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len of Hawai'i and is one part of an ancient healing practice that is used to mend conflicts between two parties. You may be familiar with it through the writings of Joe Vitale who is responsible for popularizing it on the Mainland.

At the core of Ho'Oponopono is the understanding that we are all interconnected and inseparable at the level of consciousness. So how we treat ourselves literally impacts others; and how we treat others literally impacts ourselves, beginning at the level of our thoughts. 

This metaphysical concept has floated around the spiritual arena for centuries, but it wasn't until Dr. Len proved it in a very real way that it got mainstream America's attention. How did he do it, you ask? Well, he literally healed insane patients by working on himself. Yep, that's right; a whole institution full of them, which is now closed. For the fascinating details about this, Google his name and read all about it online. Here is a good article to start with: http://healingearth.info/hooponopono/.

Mind you, this is an oversimplification of the practice, yet when done correctly, it is exceptionally powerful. For purposes of this blog, what I want you to know is that with this one simple practice, you can turn your V-Day blues into a powerful opportunity that will transform your life. The key is not only  to grasp the concepts in your mind, but to drop into their truth in your heart. 

In context with another spiritual principle - that what you focus on expands and what you resist persists - Ho'Oponopono becomes a powerful tool for transformation. All you have to know is that when you align your consciousness with the frequency of Love instead of all the other stuff, amazing miraculous things can happen. In Dr. Len's own words: 

"So sometimes it seems as if we are powerless to change things. If we are suffering from depression or some kind of terrible relationship, or we are in the midst of a crisis, all we have to remember is, we hold the power and we can help the situation by maintaining our focus and opening to the greatest power in the universe, Love."

So on V-Day, opening your consciousness and your self to Love  with a capital "L" can be a game-changer. Even your most painful relationships can shift. Especially when you feel hurt, angry, betrayed, and alone. Because it is only through love that you can truly heal. And Dr. Len's brilliant work proved this.

By this, I don't mean that you run out and spew your deepest desires on anyone! I mean that you sit alone in a private setting, tap into your deepest heart, feel the connection between your pain and everyone else's, and practice Ho'Oponopono. 

So how do you do Ho'Oponopono?

It's very simple. First, you apologize for the pain and ask for forgiveness. And then you give gratitude for the connection and the offering of and opportunity for forgiveness. And then you give Love. Simple, right? Sure! 

The key is getting yourself in the head and heart space of truly feeling the connection between your pain and everyone else's, not only knowing it in your mind but feeling the truth of it in your heart. Otherwise, this won't work. It may take some practice, and maybe even more research on what Ho'Oponopono is all about. But if you want to, you can transform your life with this technique. Hey, if a bunch of insane people can be cured, what's a little pain and heartache by comparison?

Once you "get it" and drop into that space of feeling your connection and oneness to the people you are wanting to heal around, you say these four simple phrases:

1) I'm sorry.

2) Please forgive me. 

3) Thank you.

4) I love you.

And you mean it. You won't have to mean it if you really feel it; it will just be the case that you do. And if you don't really feel it, it won't work because you will still be stuck in a separation mindset and heart space. That's the key - you must feel the very real connection between your self and all others, and recognize their pain as yours, so that as you heal your self through your consciousness, you heal them and your relationship to them. Powerful stuff, huh?

This does not mean you become besties or re-engage in an active relationship with them. And certainly not if the person you are healing around was abusive or toxic. What it does mean is that how you relate to them shifts inside of you. You stop all the resistance so you can release the pain; and you focus your consciousness on Love rather than hate so you can expand the frequency of Love in your life instead of hate. This is so important!

So why not give V-Day a powerful new meaning for yourself this year? After all, it does you no good to stew in your pain and heartache, blame and hate and hurt. All that does is keep you stuck in suffering. And since we're all connected, thanks but no thanks! Do yourself and everyone else a favor by trying Ho'Oponopono on for size this V-Day. And if you want, buy yourself a box of chocolates too. That never hurts. 

[drcecizuniga.com    After A Breakup    CZ Mentoring, LLC]

How to find your holiday cheer through a not so cheery life

The holiday season is upon us and life is buzzing with activity. People are decorating their homes, out shopping for gifts, and sending greeting cards to people they maybe haven't spoken to in months or seen in years. It's a special and fun time when our hearts are open and filled with the spirit of love and giving...right?

Who doesn't love Christmas?

I'll tell you who: all those people who hate their lives.

This time of year, folks seem either especially cheerful and bright, or overwhelmed and depressed. They either dig the colorful lights and pretty decorations or they loathe them. They either participate in the season of giving or they hate it, feeling grumpy and angry inside. 

Which category do you fit in?

When we are off balance - meaning our lives just aren't going the way we want and we can't seem to change them - we feel miserable inside. And when we feel miserable inside, we don't want to be around a lot of cheerful, happy people. We want to sit alone and be mad with our arms folded tightly across our chests and our lips in a pout...

Or do we?

Perhaps what we really want is to have exactly what we don't have, and exactly what we believe we can't have. Perhaps we get mad because when we are around them - all those cheerful, happy people - it reminds us of all the happiness we want but don't have, and believe we can't have. Yet there they are and there it is, staring us in the face.

We wonder: Why do they have it but not me? 

And that simple question sets us into a tailspin of all the reasons why we don't have it and can't get it. We feel victimized, unlucky, cursed, and trapped. Or we feel broken, discarded, worthless and hopeless. Looking around at all those happy faces makes us feel more alone in our pain, like no one else in the whole wide world understands what we have been through, what we are going through, or what we still have to deal with.

Whew. You feel the heaviness of that?

And the sad thing is - it's all a lie. Yep, a lie. You are not alone. You are not a victim. You are not unlucky, cursed or trapped. You are not broken, discarded, worthless or hopeless. You are a child of the same Divine Source as the rest of us - my brother or sister. Family. 

We all have our stories of struggle, heartache, and pain. We all carry wounds because Humans have egos, and when those egos go unchecked and get out of hand, they create a hurtful, hateful environment in which to live. 

Yet we can heal our wounds and grow our inner  capacity for compassion, love, joy and equanimity. These things create a safe, authentically loving environment in which to live, both internally and externally, in which we feel seen, held, worthy, purposeful, connected and happy. Each and every one of us craves such an environment to live in, whether we admit it to ourselves or not. It's our Human nature. If we didn't, we wouldn't feel so hurt or angry at not having it.

If you find yourself struggling to get through this holiday season for whatever your reasons, it is a sure sign that you are caught in the trap of a lie buried deep within your unconscious psyche.  The answer is not to punish yourself by isolating and judging yourself as unworthy. Or to punish those who are happy by being hurt and angry and judging them as the problem. They are not the problem. 

And neither are you. But the problem lies deep inside of you.

The answer is to make it your business to uncover the lie you are telling yourself that keeps you bound to the belief that you don't deserve or can't have happiness for yourself. Only by bringing the lie into the light can you unravel the threads of hurt that hold it in place so you can grow beyond it. There is nothing more important to your life than that, because until you do that, you will continue to suffer under the pain of the lie, not just during the holiday season but in spite of it. 

If you make it your business today to uncover the lie by investing your time, energy and resources into healing it, by this time next year, you may very well be one of those people your pain is currently judging. And you will wonder why it took you so long to love yourself enough to transform yourself and claim your own cheerful, happy life!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU!

Reality Check

In case you haven't stopped to notice it, we are already midway through August, 2017, two-thirds of the way through the year. This is stunning for me to consider, as it feels just last week was the new year's beginning.

If you read my last blog, "2017 - The Year of the Ten Fire Rooster," you may be feeling the truth of what was predicted based on ancient numerology and Chinese Calendar lore. Though perhaps a tad less tense than last year, 2017 comes packed with its own set of opportunities (or dramas, depending on how you choose to look at it). 

At this point in the game, it is important for you to find your inner balance. With strong beliefs and opinions streaming out from every arena, you'll need that inner balance to stabilize you through the rising and falling of emotional waves that pass through your personal space - those belonging to you and those belonging to others. It is human nature to have reactions to things, but it's not your inner emotional reactions that are the problem; it is what you do with them.

   

If you use your reactions to justify blame, shame, judgement, or separation, you are missing the truth and a powerful opportunity. Whenever you slip into this type of justification, you are actually passing off your responsibility for yourself onto others, where it does not belong. Your emotional reactions belong to you and you alone. 

Let me say this another way: Others are not responsible for your feelings - not now, not ever. 

It does not matter what they did or didn't do; you are the sole proprietor of your feelings today, in this moment. They happen inside of you, not outside of you. They are created inside of you. They exist and are managed inside of you. They dissolve away inside of you. They do not belong to anyone else; they belong to you, even when what you attribute them to happens outside of you.

This means that you are also 100% responsible for your reactions to the experiences of your life - how you deal with your feelings. Nobody makes you do anything, unless someone threatens your safety or your life if you do not comply with their demands. And even then you have choices; limited ones, but still choices, either in that moment or sometime later. Other than that extreme situation, you make your life choices from a place of freedom. You are nobody's slave, nobody's prisoner.

If you insist on blaming others for your state of being, you try to make them responsible for your choices, your feelings, and the quality of your life, when in reality you are. You hand them all your power by sacrificing to them how you feel and what you do in your life. And then you blame them when it doesn't turn out like you want. That's messed up. That is part of what Marianne Williamson refers to as error thinking.

As a free adult living in this country, you have the luxury - and it is a luxury - to choose for yourself who you want to befriend, who you join in partnership with, where you work and live, what you eat and drink, where you go, what you do, how long you stay, what you believe in, what you reject, how you feel, etc. No one else makes those choices for you. You make them for yourself, each one adding to the creation of the story of your life.

That means when things "go wrong" in your life, so to speak, or don't go as you hoped, you have the choice to change something to bring it back into alignment with what you want. Whatever happened in your past is past; whatever wounds you carry forward from that past can be healed. You have the choice to stop blaming others and take responsibility for your life now, starting today. There is no one to blame for your current situation, or for the feelings you hold in relation to it.

Instead of blaming others when you make a choice or a string of choices that do not bring you the outcome you want, or when you disagree with what is, or when you let your emotions get the better of you and react destructively, step off the road you are on and find a new path to walk. It really is that simple. 

You are the captain of your ship; the star, director and producer of your movie; the King or Queen of your life. You have the power within yourself to change the course of your ship, to manage the contents of your movie, and to make rulings about the direction of your life. But first you must stop blaming others and take full responsibility for yourself. You must reclaim your freedom to choose, for you alone can truly change your life.

And the sooner, the better. 

A Brick in Disguise

You know those moments when you look around and feel grateful for your life. You have had them; we all have. People around you are struggling through big changes and yet your life seems tranquil and happy. You smile inside.

The thing is, it is just a matter of time before that tranquility and happiness you feel disappear into the abyss of change in your own life. Change always comes. It is the one constant. It cannot be avoided. It is the nature of the force that creates life. That force is fluid, not static. Things do not stay the same for long.

I had one of those moments recently, driving along in my tranquil, happy life when BAM! Change happened. What I imagined would be another nice experience on my long trail of "happy" turned out to be a brick in disguise. Not a dinky, reality check brick, but a huge, smack you hard on the head kind of brick; a send you reeling, give you a nasty concussion kind of brick. 

And when I awoke from my concussion, I realized it wasn't just one brick that hit me, but a whole truck load of them. Change happened. Life as I knew it will never be the same. I'm not completely surprised, given the energies of this Nine Fire Monkey year (see my Feb. 16th post). It all fits.

After years of building a deeply spiritual, more authentic relationship with myself and my life, much of it disintegrated before my eyes in a single moment of reaction. How can this be happening? I wondered, I've worked so hard. But it was happening; it did happen. Change happened. It always does.

Sometimes change feels good; great, even. But the brick that hit me did not. It was merely disguised as something good; great, even. And I trusted it. I fell for its disguise. I walked right into its path and practically asked it to smack me. 

It can be hard to recover from a smack like that. I find myself struggling to understand it, asking the useless "Why?" questions. I will not find any answers; not now. It is too soon. The bricks and I are still rolling through the dirt, kicking up dust. Answers won't come until the dust settles, if they come at all. 

In the meantime, I find a bit of comfort in two things I believe: 

1) that everything happens for a reason, and 

2) that the Divine Source from which we come always works with us and never against us. 

These two beliefs are my lifeline of hope; my breadcrumbs back to a tranquil, happy life. We hear the first - that everything happens for a reason - often during difficult times, but do we really know what it means? 

The way I understand it is this: Everything happens for a reason, and the reason is so a higher purpose or good can be realized. We have the opportunity to evolve as Human Beings and perhaps even as Souls while we are here. The experiences we have in life provide those opportunities, if we take them. Despite how they feel to us, every experience is an opportunity for a higher purpose, a higher good, to be realized. And even as I grow through the comfortable experiences, I seem to grow more through the uncomfortable ones.

Just because an experience feels uncomfortable does not mean it is moving us in the wrong direction. Quite the contrary. We tend to get complacent in our comfort. Forgetting is easy when we are comfortable. We might even get smug about it.

But when we are uncomfortable, we tend to wake up and pay attention. We examine what is happening more closely; we want to ease the discomfort. We come back into ourselves and our lives more fully. We reconnect with our sense of humanity and compassion. 

If we are willing to embrace the discomfort, we return to a state of humility, surrender and openness to that which is greater than ourselves. We ultimately find the illumination of our own Being. This is a good thing...and worth every bit of the discomfort.

It is easier to find the willingness when I remember the Divine Source always works with us and never against us. Believing this allows me to rest into the notion that we are held and guided by something much greater than ourselves. We are never truly alone, for the loving, Divine Source always has our back, gently nudging us (or giving us a powerful smack in the head) toward the evolution of our Soul. 

You can believe whatever you want. This is just what I believe, recognizing that it is not only our triumphs but our struggles that pave the road, brick by brick, to our most evolved Self. It is my mission to grow as much as I can while here because I haven't resolved the issue of life, death or reincarnation for myself. I would rather take full advantage than realize later that I missed a precious opportunity because I was too arrogant to consider it. 

In the end, the bricks in disguise that smack us upside the head aren't such a bad thing, although they are uncomfortable. They may be exactly what we need to catapult us into a higher level of Being. We have to deal with them one way or another. I choose the high road. I choose to embrace the discomfort and use it as a gateway to the illumination of my Being. 

Anyway, my tranquil, happy life will return soon enough because one thing is for certain: change happens.

March is the perfect time to up-vibe your life!

Ready to shed Winter's chilling grip? March brings a more consistent promise of Spring than the past few fickle months (at least in Central Texas), even though we still have cold temperatures to wade through. After the Spring Equinox (March 20th), the days steadily outgrow the nights, temperatures begin to warm up, and Winter begins to lose its grip. This month we can lean  into a powerful and growthful quality of energy that continues through June.

March offers us a particularly high vibration because things that have rested dormant for months begin to awaken. Trees prepare to blossom, flowers start to emerge, grass begins to grow, baby animals and birds are born; the activity of life is everywhere! We can't miss the power and determination of life force energy taking form all around us, and we can tap this vibe to nourish our own visions into form.

Perhaps you spent some time this Winter in contemplation and planning. Your thoughts have already seeded your ideas into the soils of your Being. They are dormant and resting there, ready to be coaxed forth just like the wildflowers in Spring. Now it is time to feed your seeds of inspiration with attention, energy and action so they can sprout roots and grow into something vibrant in your life.

How can you nourish your fledgling inspirations and ideas? What do they need in order to take root? What do you need to feel nourished and to take root into something different? March offers you a powerful opportunity to meet these questions with answers. Try these five ways to tap this month's energy and up-vibe your life:

• Shake off Winter. As the days grow longer and get warmer, allow yourself to start shedding your Winter clothes. It may not be time to put them all away, but you can certainly let the strengthening Sun touch your skin whenever possible, especially your face. Like a snake shedding its skin, shifting from Winter to Spring is a deliberate and slow process. Take your time yet allow the energy of Winter to begin to shed from your Being, day by day. Let the growing sunshine outside remind you of your inner Sun and its growing power, ready to birth something wonderful and new into form. Let your inner Sun warm your chilly bones and prepare the soils of your Being to nourish any gifts you choose to bring into your life at this time.
• Look outside. March is a good month to shift your attention from inside to outside. As the weather softens, you can literally spend more time outside rather than inside. The same is true with yourself: spend more time looking outside for what actions are needed rather than inside at your ideas. It's time to focus your energy on movement and action rather than ideas. Take steps to give your plans concrete form, like a seed that sprouts roots into the soil.
• Strengthen your roots. Birthing new gifts into form takes commitment, stamina and stability. You must stay the course when things get tricky. Build your inner commitment, stamina and stability by strengthening your roots - your sense of foundation, capacity and resources. On a practical level, get organized, get the details lined out and get the support you need behind you. On an energetic level, root into the soils of the Earth. Bare your feet on warm sunny days and through them, reconnect to the ground beneath you. Imagine roots of light and energy connecting you to the Earth through the bottoms of your feet like a plant's roots and breathe that light and energy into the core of your Being. Let it fill and nourish you; feel held, supported and stabilized by the Spirit of the whole of Earth.
• Nourish your seeds of intent. The ideas you had during the introspective Winter months are seeded and ready to root. Give them your love and attention in service to your life, as the Sun gives the cold ground its love and attention in service to the renewing plant life resting there. Warm them with your energy and hold them in your heart as important, living creatures sprouting into form for your pleasure!
• Be creative. There is nothing you can imagine that can't be done. It may not be done NOW, but it can always be done. Someone, somewhere will find a way; they will take what you start and finish it. Think beyond the parameters of your own life and into the larger whole of life, for whatever you plant now has potential to grow into something beautiful for us all.